These past few weeks have been incredibly hard to handle for both Dave and I. At our weakest moments, when we have cried all we can, and prayed all we can, we have realized that we have felt God's love surrounding us all the more.
For those of you who may not be aware, David and I have recently lost our little baby at 7 weeks pregnant. Honestly, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and will have to go through in my life. This pain was not only emotionally, but physically. I found out on an early ultrasound scan that the baby had died at 7 weeks (it was 5 weeks because of how a pregnancy is dated) I had a missed miscarriage, which is when the baby dies, but your body still goes on thinking you are pregnant, still producing the signs of pregnancy. I remember walking out of the hospital in tears, not really wanting to accept what had happened, and knowing that I had to now call my Mom and Dad, and tell them that I lost the baby. In going through this grief, we have felt God's arms around us, we know he cries with us, and hurts with us.
My Aunt reminded me of a song that Natalie Grant sings about losing a child, the chorus says:
"This is what it means to be held. How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive. This is what it is to be loved. And to know that the promise was When everything fell we’d be held."
I know some people who go through tragedies such as this question God's love to let a child be forming in his mother and then take him away, but in searching my heart for answers, I have discovered that God loved this baby more than I did, and maybe I'll never know why this had to happen, but I trust his heart even when I don't understand his hand.
4 comments:
your in our prayers.... may God's peace be in your hearts and minds through this tough time
What a beautiful poem. May God be with you through this time of pain.
- Sarah Clark
I don't understand completely, but I do understand questioning what God is doing and crying until you think your eyes will fall out of your head. With love, from Susie and Matt. We pray that you will find a peace in your unanswered questions - because you'll never really be OK with a decision you didn't want. Glad to see you've named him. Ethan Tibb's is beautiful.
I found your blog through a friend of mine. My heart goes out to you deeply as I too share the pain. My I found your blog through a friend of mine. My heart goes out to you deeply as I too share the pain. My fiancé and I lost our little girl 3 weeks ago, when I was 12 weeks. We don’t know what happened and the doctors are clueless. She had a strong heartbeat and everything with my physically was fine. The baby’s sonogram and heart beat are on DVD and I cry EVERY single day. We are so heartbroken, for the longest time I was convinced that the baby died because we sinned and got pregnant before we were married. But God has a plan for everything, and its in these times that He sees just how much we are gonna trust him. I know that He loves us no matter what, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t let us go through something so difficult.
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