Aren't my neice and nephew so adorable? Sarah said Natalie says the funniest things now. They have been telling her how it's bad to pick up cigarettes, because they are dirty. She said the other day when they were walking past an ashtray "Little tiny cigarettes. I love 'em, eat 'em!". She also calls Sarah "Baby Mommy" and Tim "Honey". Adam is getting more active as well, he's 7 months already! He loves playing with Natalie, and pulling her curly hair. She says "Don't Ama! Don't!". She also calls him "Moey"..don't ask me why....;) She and Adam are getting a Boxer puppy for Christmas named "Max".
Christmas is very close, but I am not excited about it this year. This is a year I want to be over with. It's always nice when the New Year comes, and it's like someone cleared the slate, or turned the page, and nothing has been written in it yet. It's totally and completely blank. If I have learned anything this year, I have learned now more than ever to make each moment special. We easily forget that we are not guaranteed tomorrow, not guaranteed that trials will stay away from us, not guaranteed our next breath. I always make it a point to not let little things bother me, because in the grand scheme of things..it doesn't really matter. Life is too short. As in the case of losing a baby, it may seem like my dream of becoming a Mommy has been shot down, but I know that sometimes we have to put our dreams aside, pack them away for awhile, but still hold onto them. I thought about that as I was putting away all my pregnancy clothes. Looking at stuff I never got to wear, but not getting rid of it, just putting it aside for awhile. Even though this happened, and I can't see the road ahead, I choose to be happy regardless. I won't let this make me bitter, I'll let it make me become sweeter and more and more like Jesus. I couldn't imagine handling all of what Dave and I have been through without Jesus, it's impossible! Here's an excerpt from "Hinds Feet on High Places" that I marked so I could share it on this blog:
"The Shepherd put his hand in his bosom, drew something forth, and laid it on the palm of his hand. Then he held out his hand to Much Afraid. "Here is the seed of Love", he said. She bent forward to look, then gave a startled little cry and drew back. There was indeed a seed laying in the palm of his hand, but it was shaped exactly like a long, sharply pointed thorn. Much Afraid had often noticed that the Shepherd's hands were scarred and wounded, but now she saw that the scar in the palm of the hand held out to her was the exact shape and size of the seed of love lying beside it. "The seed looks very sharp," she said. "Won't it hurt if you put it into my heart?' He answered gently," It is so sharp that it slips in quickly. But, Much Afraid, I have already warned you that love and pain go together, for a time at least. If you would know love, you must know pain too." It is true, just as he said, it did cause a piercing pain, but it slipped quickly and then, suddenly, a sweetness she had never felt or imagined before tingled through her. It was bittersweet, but the sweetness was the stronger.
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